Nic All Saint on Trial
Smash Hits - July 28, 99
Remove that cowboy hat in court, Nic All Saint. It is alleged that you have committed a sickening array of crimes against pop, including...
...leaving the band before the Smash Hits Poll Winners Party
Not guilty. It wasn't my fault or All Saints' fault. It was political things going on behind the scenes. I couldn't stand our manager. It wasn't that I didn't want to do it - I just had a problem and it was him. There was a horrible reason behind that, and one day it'll come out. We were sad about that, because the last Poll Winners Party was great.
NOT GUILTY!
...pioneering the shameful bra and stetson combination
It was my idea. I had that outfit made. We were known for combats and tank tops, but there are only so many ways you can wear that outfit. Cowboy hats are sexy, too.
GUILTY!
...being bossy
No way! I'm sooo not guilty! You're getting me mixed up with my sister. She's the bossy one. Ask any of the girls.
NOT GUILTY!
...singing about booty calls without really knowing about the art of booty-shaking
I don't know what booty-shaking is, but I do know what a booty call is. It's when you call someone in the night, and want them to come round, and... all that kind of stuff.
GUILTY!
...yawning during your gig in Brighton
Not guilty. That's Mel. You've got me mixed up with her. She does that. She admits it!
NOT GUILTY!
...sending poor wee Shaznay into the studio all alone while you have lots of fun
That's not true. Shaz went to America to work with srtists she wants to work with. We were doing the same here. She wanted to go to work with some of her fave producers. Believe me, I haven't had fun in ages!
NOT GUILTY!
...getting your kit off in your new film
I don't know yet - so I'm not sure it's going to happen. We haven't filmed it yet. Whichever way the film's meant to be made, we'll make it. It doesn't bother me.
GUILTY!
...complaining about being famous, but attracting press attention by always going to places like London's Trendy Met Bar™ [in aforementioned shameful bra and stetson combination]
Guilty, I guess. I like the Met Bar. I happen to like going there, and now I know a way in without anyone seeing me. But it doesn't matter where I go. I can't even go into Gucci these days without someone photographing me! I've got other places to go out nowadays.
GUILTY!
...being such a party fiend that you'd turn up to the opening of an envelope
No. Well, well I do go out a bit, but not as much as before. I mean, we've been on tour for a while - so I haven't had much of a chance to go out lately.
GUILTY!
...showing your nips at the Brits
I didn't! No! That's sooo not guilty! They were covered perfectly well by a nice diamond flower. That top was absolutely wicked and I was happy to wear it. It's just a shame I wasn't allowed to keep it.
NOT GUILTY!
...taking ages to finish your second album
Yes, that's ture. But that's because of things like Mel having her baby, and getting rid of the dead wood around the group. We all needed a bit of time to ourselves to sort things out. There were a lot of people who wre taking the mickey out of us, people who worked with us. But we've survived it all.
GUILTY!
Verdict: You're guilty of a shocking six crimes. We sentence you to a month at the Wheel Tappers and Shunters Club, miles from London Trendy Met Bar™.